Is this epiphany or my mind is playing tricks on me?

i dated a woman for 10 whole months, she dumped me. I kept on sending her emails for 7 months straight with no reply. Until finally i met her last friday where we talked for 5 hours. And she told me that she got depressed after our relationship ended bla bla. I called her this wednesday to tell her i wanna meet her and there is something good i need to show. The thing is i prepared a powerpoint presentation narrating the sequence of how i turned out to be negative. It was boring cause i already explained that to her on previous occasions. My mistake was i re-explained what happened bad with me and why i became like that and than gave her 2 options after the boring explanation if she'll be back to me or i ll stay away. She told me to stay away. From that day till now, all what i was thinking why did she accept seeing me after what have been done, and how boring it turned out to be on i was still explaining about me and whi became like that, all men have problems, thats y women run away from such men. the thing i wasnt like that i became like them. I am a good-looking guy, have descent education, would never cheat on her, she knows i love her and she spent 10 months with me. But at some point i became negative like most of the guys and stayed in the loop. I know i deserve a second chance with her, and it is until now i figured out what i did wrong on wednesday that i became like most of the guys i was blind and now i see. Why did she say yes for wednesday?. I am thinking of calling her now and telling her that i finally understood all of that. Is my mind playing tricks on me and if i call would i be i like wth are u calling me for ?